Keeping it Simple

The National Something

Being a man and thus unequaled in my infinite wisdom regarding all things alcohol infused, I figure it’s my duty to infuse the coming generations with the joys of drinking responsibly. And by responsibly I mean not looking like a dipshit when you go to a party and you’re taking shots of Bahama Mama while your friends pound back tall boys of something less effeminate.

First and foremost, guys if you’re going to drink, keep it simple. Yeah I know that latest buzzfeed article with the party ‘lifehacks’ looked really cool, but you’re not that smart or ambitious. Instead why not ask your father or nearest male over the age of 30 what they do when they want to get sloshed (chances are they already are since they’re associated with you) or if no adult is around check the nearest recycling bin and you’ll be sure to use your powers…

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